feelings. | Life Update

Dear reader,

it took me two weeks to write here about this, but today is the day.

I am kinda exhausted. I feel pretty tired all the time and I needed my last sundays for myself.
All this is because I have to make some very serious decisions¬†and I’m fucking bad in making those.
There’s also a lot of stress, because there are a few things I’ve to do for my school.
And of course my job is keeping me busy all mornings and noons long.

I just could need a rest, but there’s no time for rests.
And I start to doubt.

Doubt in what I want from life.
What I want from my job.
What I want from my freetime.
What stuff I really enjoy and what I just thought would be fun, but in the end it isn’t at all.

The thing is, I don’t feel like leaving Germany this summer.
Not because I couldn’t, but because it doesn’t feel right now.
But also my job doesn’t feel right and I have no clue how to solve this problem.
Changing the job sounds so easy, but first I need to find out what the right job is!

Damn, I’m so confused…. and then I’ve got this lovely blog…. which I loved to write, but lately I’ve been shitty at it >.< And I am sorry for that.
But there’s so much going on in my real life and my brain never gets a rest to relax and write something nice.
So I post all my thoughts and hope you don’t mind to read something boring here.
I am not sure how long it takes before I’ll be back to the normal posts, but I don’t wanna promise anything, because there’s a huge homework coming and I don’t know if I’ll write while doing them. I’m sorry. Really.